All of the advice given here is what I've come up with after 20 years behind the chair to help simplify my client's hair lives. Keyword: SIMPLE
Clarity matters and we need to be saying the same thing to be sure you get the end result you are looking for. There is no real right or wrong but there are words that are more effective than others.
Saying "I want my hair to be healthy" is like saying "I want to be fit". You aren't really saying anything about what you are willing to do to make that happen. It also doesn't express what you mean by "healthy". That term believe it or not is subjective here because everyone means something different when they say "healthy" or "fit".
I need to know how you measure YOUR hair health. Are you looking for shine, are you looking for texture, are you looking for less frizz. None of which are synonomous with hair health but that is typically how people measure hair heath.
Hair Care
This is about what you do for your hair and is 100% unique to you. This is your regime and includes things like
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Lifestyle factors
- Do you eat fruits and veggies
- Do you drink water
- How's your chronic stress levels
- Do you swim
- Do you sweat heavily
- Do you have small children
- Are you a single parent
- Are you in the military
- Do you shower at night or in the morning
- How often you wash & condition
- What products you use & WHY
- Any tools you may use and WHY
- The go to styles you choose & WHY
- How often you have a trim
- How often you have your hair colored
As a stylist I need to know what your life looks like and how you are caring for your hair at home because this is more important that anything I do. You care for your hair the majority of the time so the idea that I would know more about your hair than you do is cray cray sis.
Think about it, how does what I do for Heather, Molly or Tanya help me understand your hair or your lifestyle any better? It doesn't it's just what people have always said a stylist's job is and because a lot of stylists are people pleasers who cannot say no they gladly step into your madness and pretend they know, they don't and I cannot pretend. I won't remember that I lied to you last time I saw you.
I can't make recommendations that will work without understanding what in your life system is out of sync with your hair care process. Your curl pattern doesn't matter and we can fight. It's doesn't matter the way you think it does anyway. That verbiage came from a system designed to get you to purchase products and oh look.....it's working! You have convinced yourself that a product is the answer. It's not. You need a system reboot and a paradigm shift.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by the idea of caring for your hair you may want to look at your hair life month to month instead of day to day. I don't recommend anyone fidget with their hair everyday if you can avoid it. You do NOT need product everyday. If you haven't washed your hair today, the product from yesterday is still in there. I mean where did it go? Just because your hair looks a mess doesn't mean it lacks product, it lacks style and if this is your issue then your solution isn't product it is style preservation measures. (Buy a bonnette)
Haircuts
Everyone's least favorite thing and absolute last resort, but also the simplest most practical solution of all of them.
Call it whatever you want a cut a trim or just "a light dusting" those ends need to go.
You're living in a bun, slowly growing a smurf village on your scalp because wash day has turned into arm day and a bun is emotionally easier than a haircut...I'm sorry a trim?
There is no mask, no jelly, no custard NOTHING can replace my shears in your life.
A haircut...a well executed haircut gives your desired style it's framework and about once a season she needs to be spiffed back up. This is another reason we need to look at your lifestyle in contrast to your hairstyle. Do you wear a twist set or a WAG? What is your desired end style?
Mine is a twist set that I can style and transition into a twist out so, I actually cut my hair when it is blowdried and stretched. I only trim once or twice a year because I only take my twists out about every 4 weeks, I don't get a lot of spilt ends.
Even how you have your hair cut is unique. Just because you have curly hair doesn't mean you HAVE to wear a WAG and have it cut curly. Actually I really don't recommend a WAG for tighter textures.
A haircut will not damage your hair or change the texture. I will fight you.
I won't even say it will make the hair healthy. It will make the hair more manageable. Hair health is established at the scalp when the hair emerges from the skin. From there it is your job to maintain that level of hair health. To grow healthy hair from your scalp
- Eat fruits and veggies
- Drink more water
- Lower your chronic stress
Basically stop adulting. This is why children look so good.
Hair Styles
A haircut supports your desired style however it is not the style itself. Even if you are wearing your hair very short. You must still manipulate the hair into place.
Placing the hair where you want it to go is the styling part. Think side part, half up half down, side pony, french twist, pig tails etc. It's the way the hair is arranged on the head and worn as an expression of ones self.
The twist set can be worn as a style and then transitioned into a twist out. The twist out can be the final style or you can further manipulated the hair into a half up half down style, pony tail style or other style depending on how you're feeling.
Hairstyles don't make your hair "healthy" but some can be unhealthy for your scalp and hair. "Protective" styles can even be damaging when not properly done or left in for too long.
I recommend tracking your lifestyle for a while to determine if you're actually the person you think you are.
Are you a long haired person, cause you legit hate it on your neck, ears, your face.
Are you a wash and go person cause it seems you don't have to time or desire to do that every three days.
I'm just asking the questions, there is no right or wrong answer. "Going Natural" or "embracing your curls" can and should look unique to you. Get off the internet and into the mirror. How do you WANT to look? That is the question. What makes you FEEL like....YYAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS (while snatching the air)? Then I think that's the right thing.
I hope this was helpful and offers you some clarity on how to better communicate with your stylist. If you are looking for a stylist and you're in the PNW you can make an appointment online anytime.
Thanks so much for reading to the end!
Ehrin
